Egg Retrieval

Friday morning I had a bright and early 8am monitoring session. We were up to 10 follicles over 18mm, so I was pretty sure we were going to trigger that night. So were all of the nurses. Sure enough, I got that call that afternoon that my estrogen levels were over 4,000 and that I was to do my trigger shot that night. The trigger shot finalizes the maturation process so the eggs are ready for retrieval. It has to be timed exactly 36 hours before egg retrieval. We did a 5,000 iu shot of Pregnyl for our trigger. I mixed it up, iced my bum, then made Robbie watch me do the injection. He looked like he was about 2 seconds from passing out.

Saturday was business as usual. No injections, YAY!! Our retrieval time was 8:45am Sunday morning and we needed to arrive an hour early. Our alarms went off at 5am and we were out the door by 5:45.We both managed to stay awake through the entire drive. We arrived at the Carmel office at 7:40. We signed in and were immediately taken back to the ART suite.

I got dressed in my sexy gown, socks, and cap. There was a warm blanket too, so it wasn't all bad. The nurse took my blood pressure, placed and IV, and then we got to sit and wait. We talked to the anesthesiologist, and embryologist, and then our RE, Dr. Bopp, came in. We were the second retrieval of the morning, I feel bad for whoever had to be there before 7, so we sat in our room and bided our time until it was time to go back.

When I walked back to the operating room, Robbie went off with his sterile cup to make his contribution. This is how babies are made people. ;) After I was on the operating table, the nasal cannula was placed and the good drugs started flowing through my IV. Dr. Bopp came in and asked if I wanted him to sing me some Neil Diamond. I remember saying yes, and then it was lights out. 

The procedure itself only takes about 15 minutes. I don't know how long it was until I woke up, but Robbie was back in the room when I did. The nurse was in almost immediately. She brought me pain meds, Teddy Grahams, and apple juice. I felt like I won the after surgery snack lotto. Once my snacks were done, the nurse made sure I could sit up on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. They let us know 14 eggs were retrieved, and that they would call us tomorrow with the fertilization report. Then I got dressed, and we took off.

We made a quick stop at The Cake Bake Shop in Broadripple before we headed north. I had been dying to go here since one of my IG friends posted a picture a couple months ago. The decor, the pastries, and even their packaging is all amazing. If you have the chance, GO! I don't know that we'll have time, but I'm hoping maybe we can stop in again before or after transfer.

As soon as we hit the interstate, I started feeling nauseous. I was hoping for a little iced decaf caramel machiatto action, but I opted for just a buttered croissant that I scarfed down in a gas station parking lot while Robbie got me Gatorade. I cuddled up with my pillow and fell asleep as soon as we started moving again. We made it home just in time to pick the kids up before their nap.

Brooke and Harrison both brought me a few daffodils from Grandma's garden. They were so excited to give them to me. It was adorable, and definitely my favorite part of the day. I was pretty sore for the rest of the day, so movement was limited. I was still sore enough on Monday that I took some Vicodin when I woke up. Today I am not as sore, but I am still very bloated and uncomfortable. I have been chugging Gatorade in hopes of keeping fluid out of my ovaries and abdomen. 

I got the call yesterday morning that of the 14 eggs, 11 were mature, and 8 fertilized with ICSI. Unless our embryos all take a steep decline, we are scheduled for a Friday blastocyst transfer. The Carmel office will be calling tomorrow with our transfer time for Friday. I got all set up with Indiana Reproductive Acupuncture, so I will be having acupuncture done before our transfer.

We started a new set of meds yesterday, but only one injection. Unfortunately it's a 1.5" needle intramuscular injection. Robbie was a little nervous, but he did a great job last night giving me the injection. He hadn't had to do any injections through either of our IVF cycles up until last night. 

Our next few days around here will be pretty quiet as I try to rest, and we get things ready before I am on bed rest for a couple days, and the kids have their longest stay away from home. Two full days at Grandma's, and maybe an extra night depending on our transfer time. As always, news makes it to Instagram well before it makes it to the blog, so feel free to follow along @jennpargeon.

A couple weeks ago I was making chicken noodle soup. As I was cutting up vegetables, I started feeling a little queasy. I remembered briefly having the same feeling the day before. The first thought that popped into my head wasn't "maybe I'm coming down with something," it was "maybe I'm pregnant." So there I stand in the kitchen counting cycle days trying to figure out if it's even possible.

Robbie and I have been married for almost 10 years, and we've been trying to, or not trying not to, get pregnant for almost 7 of those years. In that time, I've learned more about reproduction and fertility than I ever wanted to know. I have also learned, and come to terms with the fact, that we will probably never get pregnant on our own. That still doesn't change the fact that every month I hold out hope for a miracle. And every month I am disappointed when a new cycle begins.

I am past the point of charting my cycles. I don't cry anymore when another month comes and goes. But I know enough to know when there is that less than 1% possibility that it could happen. And it never does, but it could. And so I hold onto that hope, and the disappointment that comes with it. I feel like that's a good thing.

When we had frozen embryos there was never any question as to whether we'd try for more. The answer was always yes, we'd like to have more. But then that option was taken away from us, and we had to really consider what we thought our family should look like. Robbie and I are both in agreement about another round of IVF, but there are days that I question if the expense is worth it. We have two amazing children and I know we could be happy if we are never more than a family of four. We're prepared for that, and we will gladly enjoy every day, just the four of us, if that's where our journey takes us.

The disappointment every month reminds me that the desire for more children is still there. It confirms to me that we are making the right choice to go through this again. So while I hate the feeling I get every time a new cycle begins, I'm glad I still feel the sadness 7 years after we started on this journey. I don't think infertility ever gets easier, at least for me it hasn't, but I've learned to live with it. I've learned to cope with the feelings of sadness, disappointment, and emptiness. Because along with those come feelings of hope, anticipation, excitement, and joy.

After the start of the year, we'll begin testing to make sure we're ready for our upcoming IVF cycle. While I don't necessarily enjoy blood work and ultrasounds, I'm excited about them because of what they mean. They mean we are getting closer to having a real chance at expanding our family, and that is something to be happy about. I will take the other emotions as they come, but being optimistic and happy is what I will choose to focus on.