National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the last day of National Infertility Awareness Week. One in eight couples suffer from infertility. We are one of those couples. I have been very open about our struggles to conceive. It took us 5 years, multiple procedures, lots of prayers, and tears before IVF helped us conceive Harrison and Brooke. We were extremely fortunate the first time around that our insurance coverage was based with Rob's employer's corporate office in Illinois. Illinois is one of only 15 states that have some type of infertility mandate. 15 out of 50 states. Not very good odds. While the procedure still cost us a few thousand dollars, it was nothing compared to what the total cost is without insurance.

After our canceled FET cycle, we are looking at doing a fresh cycle again. A fresh IVF cycle is a very involved and often painful procedure. Multiple injections per day for weeks or even months on end. Swollen ovaries and possible OHSS. Surgery to retrieve the mature eggs. While all of that seems scary, for most couples the scariest part of IVF, and other less invasive procedures as well, is the cost. Because the majority of insurance plans won't pay a single penny. Many carriers won't even help cover the cost of diagnosis. We are looking at $11,600 plus another $3,000-$4,000 for meds, all out of pocket. (Some clinics cycles cost over $20,000 once you factor in ICSI, PGD, and assisted hatching) Indiana is not a state with a mandate, so our insurance doesn't cover any costs incurred during a cycle. Why do so many insures refuse to cover costs associated with treatment and diagnosis of infertility?

After going through a barrage of testing during our first couple years trying to conceive, we were given a less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally. That means it's almost impossible for us to get pregnant without help. I know that God works miracles, and I continue to pray for one every day. I believe that God gave us the technology to help those who struggle to conceive get pregnant, and I am thankful for that beyond words. The realist in me knows where are issues conceiving are, and I know that we won't get pregnant on our own. We will try everything possible to make it happen though. Supplements, lifestyle changes, acupuncture.

Secondary infertility sucks as much as primary infertility. Being open about our journey has brought forward so many supportive people. People who have experience infertility first hand or those who have seen loved ones battle the disease. Having the support of loved ones is helpful and comforting beyond words. I know infertility can take you to a dark place. Infertility is not who I am, but it is part of who I am. Acknowledging that has made the entire experience less painful.

Don't let infertility be a taboo topic. Please talk about it. Please be supportive for those you know that are struggling. Write to your senators and representatives. Support legislation to bring a mandate to your state. Participate in the Walk of Hope. There are so many ways you can help. Visit Resolve's website to learn more about infertility and to find out how you can help support the infertility movement. The more people who speak up about infertility, the more likely it will be that states and insures recognize infertility for what it is, a disease that requires the same care and coverage as any other disease.

Introducing, Jules

We have always been a multiple dog household, at one point we had 4. When Layla passed we went back and forth on if we should add another dog to our family. Rob was all about it, and I was very much content having just Tyson.  

A month or so after Layla passed it became very obvious that Tyson needed a friend. We contacted a breeder, talked to our local shelter and started looking on Petfinder. A few weeks into our search we found "Lucy." She was being fostered by one of our local rescue groups.  She's an 8 month old, although I think maybe a bit older, brindle boxer girl and as sweet as can be.  

Meeting her at the pet store before her adoption. 

We decided on Jules for her name, too many Lucys at daycare. She was in love with Tyson from the start, and he tolerated her but was not a fan.  We had a few scuffles, but they are getting along really well after a couple weeks. 

She has been great with the kids from day one.  They can play in her crate, take her bones and toys and crawl all over her.  She doesn't care, she just insists that in return they tolerate her constants licks to the face. 

She loves to snuggle and is in constant need of contact. She walks well on her leash when it's just the two of us, but goes crazy when Tyson and the kids are with us. On more than one occasion I have caught her standing on the kitchen table. She is super fast and loves to tear around the back yard. From what her foster parents said, and what we've seen, she doesn't seem to be a runner which is great, because Tyson isn't either, yay for off leash play. She has gone to daycare a few times already and is doing well, but she does get a little too over excited. She has already learned her name, the hand signal for sit, and almost has down perfected.

Harrison and Brooke can both already say her name, although it comes out missing a consonant or two. "Ju" as they call her, is a perfect addition to our family. I am so glad we decided to get another dog, and glad we adopted an older puppy. Welcome JuJu Bee, we love you already!

She sleeps like this all the time!

All Dogs Go to Heaven

On Thursday Night we lost one of our furry family members. I remember driving with Rob on a Friday night to go pick out our new puppy. My brother came over to hang out with Tyson since we would be gone for 6 hours.  We had been emailing with a breeder for weeks to ensure that we would be a right match for one of her puppies and that our puppy's parents had been through the appropriate health screenings. We met Bertha and Trudy along with their parents, uncles, siblings and cousins. Almost immediately it became apparent that Bertha was the puppy for us. She was a spunky little girl who we knew would be a great match for Tyson.

Once we knew who was coming home with us we got back on the road. We decided Layla was the perfect moniker for our new family member. She snuggled with us the entire way home and when we arrived she made fast friends with Tyson. They were best buds from day 1.

She slept in our bed the first night, and almost every day after. She craved constant human touch. If she wasn't lying on you, she wasn't close enough. Rob called her "Bunny" when she was little because she was such a snuggle bunny. She never realized her size and was convinced she was a lap dog.

Layla was naughty almost every day of her life. She chewed bras, shoes and underwear as a puppy. She chewed coffee tables and books as an adolescent. She broke into cabinets and got food off the top of the refrigerator as an adult. As frustrating as her naughtiness was, I always laughed about it after the fact. I'm laughing now thinking about her getting into the Bisquick or butterscotch pudding.

She definitely did things on her terms. She was full of life and only listened when it suited her. She always wanted to be the center of attention. If you weren't paying attention to her, she was going to make you. She was great with H and B even when they were pulling her nub or crawling over her.  She was the perfect girl for our family.

I remember the first time Layla had a seizure. I was worried sick and wondered why it was happening. Over time they continued but were never anything we felt we needed to be concerned about.  All of her test came back negative and the seizures didn't occur frequently. Two months ago when she had her first cluster of seizures, I remember thinking "This is the beginning of the end."  Whatever had been causing her seizures was now serious enough we couldn't  ignore it, except there was still no known cause. So we'd treat the symptoms.  

Her first day home from the hospital was the first time we talked about quality of life. She was high as a kite and could barely walk. Over the next few weeks she seemed to be getting better. So much so that we started weaning her off one of her medications. 

A week and a half ago, we started noticing she was having pain. We took her to the vet and she was put on medication to help with the pain. After this things just started to fall apart. I won't go into all the details, but the last week of her life was miserable for us. She was in severe pain and having seizure activity again. I was struggling with her care and the emotions that came with seeing her in such pain. Trying to make the right decisions for her while maintaining the kids' happiness was exhausting.  

On Thursday night she seemed to be feeling better after a long day of being in pain. We snuggled on the couch together while I blogged about Christmas pajamas. She had a seizure and never came back from it. She went into shock and eventually stopped breathing. She was not even 7 1/2 years old. 

Every day with her was a blessing. I loved her even when I wanted to strangle her. She was my best friend. My favorite snuggler. Our loud protector. My co-captain. Harrison's favorite.  She was our Laylers, Layla Cake, Tater Tot, Hippo, Bunny, Yay-a.

I believe the movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven." I know she's up there waiting on us and gorging herself with baked goods. No amount of time would ever be enough, but her life definitely ended too soon. I'm relieved that she isn't suffering anymore, but that doesn't diminish the pain and sadness of her passing. We love you sweet girl and will miss you every day. You will always be in our hearts.

When Life Gives You Lemons

This weekend definitely didn't turn out as planned. I'm currently sitting at the emergency vet while Layla gets blood drawn.  Not quite what I had planned for my Sunday afternoon.  

Layla has a history of epilepsy and started having petite mal seizures when she was about 3 years old.  She also had what we assumed were grand mal seizures where she would loose control of her body and bladder.  We never saw her have a grand mal seizure.  The only evidence was the wet spot on the bed where she urinated. 

On Friday afternoon while the kids were napping, and I was trying to nap, I heard her on the couch and it sounded like she was having a bad dream. Her twitching was louder than usual so I went out to check on her.  She was convulsing, drooling, and covered in urine.  

It was really scary to see, but I knew immediately she was having a seizure.  I knew not to try to snap her out of it, not to mess with her tongue, just to comfort her and let it pass.   It lasted what seemed like forever but was less than 5 minutes.  It took her another 5 minutes to regain sight and awareness and a few more minutes before she was up and moving.  

She recovered like a champ and was ready to get in the tub and take a bath as soon as we walked into the bathroom.  Yes, I'm one of those lucky people whose dogs like baths. I wasn't too worried about it until she had another seizure Saturday night.  Then another, and another, and another.  

After the 4am seizure, I told her the next one would earn us a trip to the emergency vet. It didn't come as quickly as I thought, they had been coming every 2 hours, but sure enough at 2:30 in the afternoon, while the kids were having a snack, she started seizing in the kitchen. 

All of the previous seizures had been while the kids were sleeping. They got to witness this one first hand, and it was scary for them. Brooke was staring at Layla screaming and crying. She knew something was wrong with her doggie. Harrison started crying too, but I think it was mostly because Brooke was.  

I got the kids down for their nap and then Layla and I made the trek across town. We're still sitting here over 3 hours later waiting on some kind of answer, although I already know they'll tell me they're idiopathic seizures, basically they have no idea what's causing them.  Not that it's a bad thing that they don't know.  It means she has no major health issues, except the seizures of course.  

She'll now be a dog that has to be medicated daily, something I always said I'd never do, but if it keeps the seizures at bay we'll do it.  Thanks to my future brother in law, who is a veterinary cardiologist, I know what medication options are available and I can make an informed decision. 

They just came in to inform me her blood work was normal and that they are going to keep her overnight to get her started on medication to stop the seizures.  I know it's the right thing to do, but I don't want to leave her.  I want her home with me so I can watch over her myself.  I'm crying thinking about leaving her, but I know tomorrow will be here soon and I can definitely use some rest tonight.  

Definitely not the weekend we planed, but we still managed to have some fun.  The farmers market, The Friendly Fox, the laundromat.  The kids had a great time everywhere, even the laundromat.  Plus we scored some great garage sale finds on Friday before all of this started.  

I hope everyone's weekend was cheerier than ours.  I had a whole post about football planned, and I didn't even get to watch the game.  We'll save that for next weekend.  

Just a FYI, I'm still at the e-vet hoping I can make it out of here in time to get home before the kids go to sleep.  Layla and I may wind up leaving a check on the desk and busting out of this joint.  

I Love My Dog

When Robbie and I got married I had a sweet little Chihuahua named ChiChi. We found her walking down the street behind my parents' lake house and her owners never came to get her. I had ChiChi for 8 years and loved her every day, and I still do now that she's gone. Cheech was not a "real" dog. Her life consisted of sleeping, trying to run away and going to the bathroom on the floor.

After Robbie and I had been married for about a year he brought up getting another dog. We decided we wanted a large dog that was great with kids and a good guard dog. After doing some research on breeds we decided a Boxer would be the right dog to add to our family. We got Tyson when he was 11 weeks old. I fell in love not only with him, but with the breed as well. I even started a blog for Tyson. We decided he needed a playmate and we added Layla a few months later. A couple months after that we brought Harley into our home. 3 boxers in 8 months.

At the time, Robbie and I were both working 9-5 jobs. I took all 4 dogs to the dog park after work, but I wanted something more. I began looking at doggie daycares, but there wasn't one in our area. That's when I decided to open a dog daycare. 5 years later Happy Dogs Daycare is still offering a place for high energy pups to come play. We now just have Tyson and Layla and they are 7 years old and still a perfect fit for our family.

My dogs are my original babies and even with the two new babies I try to make sure Tyson and Layla get plenty of attention, one on one time and exercise. I want Brooke and Harrison to love the dogs as much as I do, and so far it seems like they do. I also want the dogs to love them in return, and sometimes they do. If they have a dirty diaper, are eating, or crawling around naked, the dog love shows.  The dogs are very tolerant and I hope as the babies grow the dogs gain more interest in them.

Harrison and Tyson

Loving on Layla

Crawling around Tyson

Layla and Brooke have a stare off.

If found these adorable matching boy and girl shirts from Old Navy and knew we had to have them. The UPS guy dropped them off yesterday, so we had a mini photo shoot today. Happy Thursday!

Dog Sense

Since about 5 weeks I have had a nonstop shadow by my side. Tyson has always been a mama's boy but lately he doesn't leave my side. Layla still sits on the couch staring out the window, but not Tyson. When they say your pets know, they aren't lying. I've even noticed some of the daycare dogs acting differently. They seem to listen to me more now.

This is Tyson's favorite spot. If I'm in bed, and I'm in bed a lot, he's right there with me. I'm never alone for more than a minute or two.